Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
