on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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