On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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