You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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