PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
