why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
