do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
