i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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