This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
time to smoke my breakfast
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
