Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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