Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
