i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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