And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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