9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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