I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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