The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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