im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
