there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
