Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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