Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
