I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
