Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Church boner. Awkwardddd
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
