Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
