I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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