Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
