I would go down on you faster than GM stock
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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