your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
