If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
