It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
