Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
