everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
