theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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