my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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