the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
