I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
