If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
