Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
