So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
