if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
