ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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