i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We got so high we made milksteak
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
