I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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