put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
