A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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