And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
