talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
