At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
