Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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