I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
