if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When did angry sex become our thing?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
pray to the hookup gods
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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