who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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