Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
